Lorena finally gets what’s coming to her in True Blood Episode 7 as Sookie sinks a metal pole into her chest, turning her into a big pile of vampire mush. Looks like we are finally rid of that bitch. And speaking of getting rid of vampire assholes, the Magister loses his head after he is forced to marry Russell and Sophie-Ann. Sookie’s true identify is becoming the big mystery that everyone wants to solve in this week’s episode. Keep reading for some other highlights from Episode 7:

Highlights from Tonight’s Episode
Alcide and Tara rescue Sookie and a dying Bill from Lorena’s torture room and put them in the back of the van. Sookie opens up her wrist, pouring her blood into Bill’s mouth. He’s sucking for all he’s worth and then he starts biting. Wow, is this her thanks for rescuing him?

Sookie is dying when Alcide and Tara pull the van over and they race her to the hospital. Who thought it was a good idea to put a critically hurt vampire in the back of a van with a healthy human? Tara kicks Bill out of the van and he lands in the sun with little ill effects although he starts to smoke a bit.

Sam heads out to “redneck central” looking for dog fights. Sam the pit bull appears at the dog fighting ring and gets chained up, but Sam turns human and knocks him out with a punch. Go Sam! Sam pulls the alarm and rescues Tommy from the ring where he was getting his ass kicked by the rottweiler.

Eric brings Hadley to the queen, who’s sitting in a cage. Eric says he’ll drink from Hadley until the queen tells her why she has such a special interest in Sookie. Eric rips into Hadley’s throat as he continues to ask the queen about Sookie Stackhouse. Hadley says that she’ll tell Eric – Sookie is her cousin and then she whispers into Eric’s ear something to which he replies “well, I certainly wasn’t expecting that” and he meets the queen’s eyes.

Sookie is in emergency surgery thanks to Bill’s big drain-fest. Sookie has a major seizure and the doctor tells Tara and Alcide that they can find no blood type for Sookie – without one they can’t give her a transfusion and she’s in a coma. That’s when Jason notes that Sookie has never been sick, never been in a hospital – she was born at home. The mystery continues….

Sam tells his parents that he’s taking Tommy away from them and for Dad to give Tommy his clothes – the poor guy once again ends up standing in his tightie-whities. As Sam and Tommy walk away, it’s funny to see how well Dad’s clothes fit Tommy, especially since Dad is about six inches taller.

Jason keeps talking to Sookie in her coma, telling her that she is all he has, she has got to come back. Then there is a flash of light around Sookie and she is in another, beautiful world where she meets Claudine who gives her something to drink that makes her look happy and healthy. Claudine says Bill will steal Sookie’s “light”. “What light?” she asks as all the beautiful people disappear.

Bill appears in the hospital room – it looks like he survived his fall into the sun. Bill says his blood can save Sookie and Jason gives permission for Bill to give his blood over Tara’s vehement protests. Bill is sitting by Sookie’s bed when she comes awake and he looks so happy until she start screaming in his face. I guess it’s not going to be a happy reunion after all.

The Magister is torturing Pam by putting sterling silver earrings into her eyelids. Pam is defiant and caustic to the end. Eric arrives in the nick of time, revealing that Russell is now his king. As Russell tells the Magister that he is the authority in town, he whips Pam out of the silver chains and puts the Magister in them. The Magister is forced to marry the king and queen, pronouncing Russell and Sophie-Ann to be husband and wife. It’s certainly nice to see Pam again – I missed her last week.

If you’ll remember, Sookie and Bill were enjoying a romantic dinner alone. Bill had gone to the trouble of renting out an entire restaurant for the event. Bill is such the Southern gentleman isn’t he?

Bill and Sookie have a wonderful time together. He looks fantastic in his tuxedo and Sookie looks gorgeous in a lilac dress that he bought for her (didn’t she look great?).

And then the big moment occurs: Bill proposes to Sookie and gives her a ring.

She’s shocked of course (as are we) and doesn’t immediately give him an answer. Instead she excuses herself and goes to the ladies room. While there she ponders his proposal and looks lovingly at the ring. She then makes up her mind – she’s going to accept!

She bounces out of the ladies room only to find Bill gone. Vanished. As if he’s disappeared into thin air.

But we know different. We saw that a silver chain had been wrapped around his neck from behind and that he’d been forcefully pulled away.

So, WHO DUN IT?

The Likely Suspects

• Eric: throughout True Blood Season 2 Eric appears to resent the relationship between Bill and Sookie. He makes a pledge to the Queen of Louisiana to “get Bill” for her. Which leads me to the next suspect.
• Queen Sophie: I’m not sure what the Queen has against Bill. Perhaps she’s annoyed that he’s not big on toying with humans like she is. Perhaps she’s pissed off because he didn’t bow and scrape in front of her. Not sure what’s going on with her but she may very well have had a hand in his abduction. Perhaps she and Eric are working together?

I personally think both Eric and Queen Sophie are too obvious and probably aren’t directly responsible. If you’re a True Blood fan you know that Alan Ball doesn’t do obvious. He’s always full of surprises. Therefore, I’m going to suggest something else.

Other Potential Kidnappers

• Lafayette: yes, it’s perhaps a stretch but I wonder if Lafayette does this at Eric’s command. Think about it, would Eric himself kidnap Bill? No, he’d have someone else do his dirty work for him. If Lafayette kidnapped Bill it would create a different angle on the relationship between he and Sookie. It would also provide Eric with a steady source of V which he’s forcing Lafayette to sell. He could slowly drain Bill until he dies. Or at least, that would be the plan.
• Leona: when we last saw Leona she was shunned by Bill. I was a bit surprised at that since she’s Bill’s maker. I wouldn’t think he’d be powerful enough to do that. Also, if you’ve read the books you know that Leona plays a significant role in Bill and Sookie’s relationship. I won’t say more in case you haven’t read Book 3, Club Dead.
• Tara: Tara was pretty devastated when Eggs was killed in the True Blood finale. Could Tara be jealous of Sookie and Bill’s relationship? I think this one’s a pretty big stretch but I thought I’d throw it in for giggles. Also, I’m not totally convinced that we’ve seen the last of Maryann’s influence. I wouldn’t be surprised if maenads aren’t somehow reincarnated in some way.
• The Fellowship of the Sun: if I’ve said it once I’ve said it 10 times: the vampires should have taken out Steve Newlin and Sarah Big Hair when they had the chance. The Fellowship of the Sun won’t stop simply because the vampires were merciful. Case in point, even though the vampires let members of the group live they still booby-trapped one of their followers (sorry, I can’t seem to remember his name) and sent him on a suicide bomber mission. By the way, isn’t booby-trapped one of the funniest words around? When I think of that word I envision some big breasted female villain from a bad 70’s B-movie who has some poor guy trapped between her . . . oops, sorry – I digress. Nonetheless, I think it’s highly likely that they’re responsible for kidnapping Bill.

So what do YOU think? Who do you think kidnapped Bill?

Yes, I’m totally addicted to this show.

It’s now 30 minutes before True Blood Episode 11 “Frenzy” airs and I find myself nervously checking the clock every few minutes. It’s funny how, on Sunday evenings, I find myself telling time in terms of when True Blood comes on. For example, 6:00pm for me is “3 hours before True Blood.” Oops, I just checked the clock again. It’s 22 before True Blood (or 8:38pm for you non-fans).

Okay. Gotta’ go. I have to use the bathroom, grab an adult beverage, and get ready for the show. Be sure to check out the True Blood Rehab Center. And drop in after the show to read Kitty Kat’s wonderful review!

The soundtrack to True Blood will be available May 19th. The CD contains an amazing collection of songs from the series including great tunes like “Bad Things” by Jace Everett, “Bleed 2 Feed” by C.C. Adcock, and “Give It Up” by Lee Dorsey.

Here’s the complete list of songs on the CD:

1. Bad Things – Jace Everett

2. Bleed 2 Feed – C.C. Adcock

3. Lake Charles – Lucinda Williams

4. Give It Up – Lee Dorsey

5. Swampblood – The Legendary Shack Shakers

6. Play With Fire – Cobra Verde

7. Just Like Heaven – The Watson Twins

8. Christine’s Tune (A.K.A. Devil in Disguise) – The Flying Burrito Brothers

9. Two – Ryan Adams

10. Strange Love – Slim Harpo<

11. From a Whisper to a Scream - Allen Toussaint

12. I Don’t Wanna Know - Dr. John

13. Golden State - John Doe, Kathleen Edwards

14. Bones - Little Big Town

You can actually order it online now.